Bedah~~~

Itz been a hectic week...:p
Pre-koas, registration, then intro for the department. What a life??!!
The 1st thing I learned in these 2 days is "PATIENCE"...as a Koas should know how to be patience no matter what, Coz the only thing you have to do is wait and wait and wait at the corridor..:p

"they said all the surgery department 'Koas' must gather at the department at 1pm, got briefing. But we were waiting there for like 2 hours no one showed up, we were standing there like 'anak terbiar'...huhu. 3 pm, a resident came gave some talk for 20min then she said every group must meet their preceptor tomorrow"
She couldn't give the briefing and postponed o the next day also.

Yet, the same thing happened on Friday also...but,at least had the briefing at 4pm.

I felt like im blind-folded and left somewhere.
Weird word-STASE (still finding the meaning of this word)
Then, 'jaga'-must be at the emergency ward sharp at 3pm, but only can sign the attendance at the department after 3pm...How??!!!! (very confusing)
Must assist at least 1 surgery, and we must find the opportunity by ourselves...haihs

chaiyok sita...chaiyok....!!!
Lets ROCK the department...yahoo...huhuhu

Why?!!!

"why are u having a Quran in ur room"
"since when u started to read it?"
"U just reading to know right?"

Oh Oh...im tired of all these...Questions and warnings...!!!
Is the love I had for Him,KRSNA, not enough to prove everyone that i wont leave HIM...!!! I always loved Him and Surrendered to Him. mein to hamesha Uski jhogan bhanke rehoongi...:)

Furthermore, religion2 all doesn't play any part here. Since I know the destiny of my life and the way to find it, nothing can stop me from Loving Him or turn my back to Him..:)

THANK GOD...:)

People used to tell me, God love to test His devotees but He will never let them down...SO TRUE...!!!

Finally, i think I got what i deserved after so many obstacles that i went through especially this year. They made us wait for 2 hours before announce the result. I entered the hall with so many thoughts, +ve n also -ve. I felt like screaming and jumping when dr.Endang said, 'Congratulation, u all made to the koas'... I'm still cant believe it...hehe..

I really thank all the good hearts who were they to support and encouraged me all the time no matter what...:)

I'm going to graduate already...huhu

But, koas only starting on October, thinking how to fill up such a long holiday...:p

Sad to Go Back~

From the day I born,
and they time we have spent,
Still i remember...
But u leave me here, Just like that,
Without saying anything...
Even the tears come from my eyes...
Still i miss u so much..!!





- Maa, u just left us; me here without think even once what will happen to us; me if u go.-
Short holiday, yet thinking how am I going to past these holidays without u. the time we use to spend together during my holidays, still i remember...u never let me go anywhere without u and love to drag me wherever u go..who will do all my shopping now?!! who will cover up for me??!! who will pamper me??!!

I still cant forget the last word u talked to me.

"Hapie Bday maa" i said.

U just replied "thank u daa"...no jokes, no gossips as usual...
I still cant figure out why i always been the less lucky to be with u although im ur dearest 1 compare to others...:(


p/s:
Idiots!!! they must be the dumbest creatures in this world who can talk like that...no other better work to do i guess..I wish i can see their faces.

KaRma ~

We always tend to do things without thinking of the reaction; be it immediate reaction or long term; or be it good or bad. Our every action / work called as "KARMA" in sanskrit (for hindu); For every 'action' that i do, there is a 'reaction'. Its totally different than other religion may be. Karma can also refers as the 'work' we have ahead of us, which includes lessons from both our past and present lives. Meaning, if everyone aware of the circles of birth and death, our karma always connected with our actions from past and present with its reaction.

I'm sure everyone heard of people saying, 'what la i did in my past life until suffering like this'...:p (^_^) some without knowing about karma, says it. that means we aware of our actions control our life...:) This is called as Law of karma.

God as the Provider, provides us with everything. Yet, He doesn't control us. We want (lust), we work for it (action), we get what we want (reaction). So, we have to accept whatever reaction that we get whether its good or bad. We never will complain if its good; but if something bad happens means, we blame GOD. Not appropriate is it? we should be responsible for our own action indeed.

Not all good action have immediate reward and not all bad things happen to you meaning you have bad karma. Sometimes, bad things happens for a good reason.

Example 1: A businessman-very hardworking, ambitious, wildly successful. Never even had time for himself. one day, he had an accident and ended up in hospital.

-He cant say its due to his bad karma. May be this accident might teach him the value of life and slow down a bit his life to actually feel it, enjoy it-

how about changing our karma?!! "can is it?"....of course can. Our soul is on an journey always. Karma can show us where we've been and where we might go to learn we've chosen for this lifetime. confused?? huhu. May be we feel like our life is full of miserable. That could be due to our actions in the past. May now we can choose a good path to change it. We can adjust our actions to either changes in ongoing work or gain new perspective on our past action so that we can avoid making the same mistake twice...:)

YET!!!

one can be free from this Law Of Karma!!! how...how...how??!! When we started get bored of this material world, when we understands the purpose of this life, when we knows that we are the 'soul' not the body...when he inquires "who am I? Why am I here? Whats going on? and what is my part?"

when we understand the ultimate truth that our every action is for GOD. Whatever we does is because of Him. And always put Him before for every action, then we are free from this Law...:)

He says:

"do your part and offer the reaction to me"

Example: - If a worker works all the day.Then when get the salary, he buys flowers or do donation, etc. In that way, he doesn't owns the reaction of his action.-

The End...hehe..(^_^)v-peace

~ Be With Me Always ~

Every single person needs a reason to change; may it be into good or bad. A strong reason which make them to see the reality. I also had that so called ‘reason’ lately to change back to the person I was before come to Indonesia.

I used to a preserved type, so pious (until after form 5 I even plan to devote myself to GOD) and very strict in following the principles that being thought to me since I was a kid. My father is a strict person, who doesn’t even let us wear ¾ pants out of the house; can’t cut the hair shorter, can’t go out after 8pm, any function must wear traditional dress, never went out partying with friends, etc.

But coming out here and mix with all kind of peoples changed me a lot. I myself realized that changes. Started wearing sleeveless, break some of the rules, wear shorts and walk around in jatinangor and mix around openly to all my friends; either it’s a guy or girl. Tried to be ‘social’ and modern. It was so fast that I didn't realize of it. Yet, I got bored of that life so fast also.... Huhuhu

However the ‘reason’ which made me to realize about it came in a way that I didn’t expect. A friendship with someone kind of realized me and stopped me being in the stupid ‘darkness’ plus reminded me those things forget which I was practicing all the while . That person didn’t in person made the changes but then being around, getting know that person and being a friend of him gave a chance for me realize so many things which were wrong all the time; here in jatinangor I mean.. (^_^)

My spiritual life was kinda down since I came to Indonesia. Well environment always influences our thought and there wasn’t had a single person to remind or warn me. So all I had was influences from people around me which made me to forget the principles I used to follow. But.... But, by reading that person’s writings somehow made me feel guilty. I tried to change back to old me again; were cursing myself for being so ‘alpa’ in this material world and controlled by ‘maya’.

Not only that, I found good friendships also. My life started to be better and always surrounded by nice friends; friends who respect not only me but also the principles I follow, accept me without expecting any changes from me to fit myself with them. Example:

My friends who used to be,

“Never mind papa, eat onion 1 day will cause you nothing. Just ‘tutup satu mata’ and eat la”

Those friends I made after that,

“Wait ah siva, I read first the ingredients. Oh, this 1 you can eat...oh this 1 you can’t eat”

I’m not telling those friends I knew eelier are not good. It just that they are not very religious so doesn’t really understand me. However those friends I treasured now are those who understand me well enough although they are not same as me (religion wise). Just because the way we see this life is same, it brought us closer enough compare to any other friends before. They were the always there in my good and also bad time. The best part is they share their religion to me without any expectation.

Mentally Prepared ~

i think im mentally prepared to accept whatever awaiting for me on 7th august. I just got 3 department papers to go out of 46 departments, but now i feel like i chose the wrong papers for 1 of the departments. Nothing can be change now.

worse come worse ill join the February batch. But it doesn't means I'm a dumb or what. People who cheated all the from 1st year until now can get though means,its the sign that luck play bigger part compare to hardworking. And also if they enter Koas now it doesn't means they gonna finished it on time. So its just a matter of time.

There must a good reason why GOD doing this to me. May be i will have ample time to prepare myself to enter practical. May be i can spend some time with my family since house condition not stable yet.

However, i must be mentally prepared to face it in two weeks....