~ Be With Me Always ~

Every single person needs a reason to change; may it be into good or bad. A strong reason which make them to see the reality. I also had that so called ‘reason’ lately to change back to the person I was before come to Indonesia.

I used to a preserved type, so pious (until after form 5 I even plan to devote myself to GOD) and very strict in following the principles that being thought to me since I was a kid. My father is a strict person, who doesn’t even let us wear ¾ pants out of the house; can’t cut the hair shorter, can’t go out after 8pm, any function must wear traditional dress, never went out partying with friends, etc.

But coming out here and mix with all kind of peoples changed me a lot. I myself realized that changes. Started wearing sleeveless, break some of the rules, wear shorts and walk around in jatinangor and mix around openly to all my friends; either it’s a guy or girl. Tried to be ‘social’ and modern. It was so fast that I didn't realize of it. Yet, I got bored of that life so fast also.... Huhuhu

However the ‘reason’ which made me to realize about it came in a way that I didn’t expect. A friendship with someone kind of realized me and stopped me being in the stupid ‘darkness’ plus reminded me those things forget which I was practicing all the while . That person didn’t in person made the changes but then being around, getting know that person and being a friend of him gave a chance for me realize so many things which were wrong all the time; here in jatinangor I mean.. (^_^)

My spiritual life was kinda down since I came to Indonesia. Well environment always influences our thought and there wasn’t had a single person to remind or warn me. So all I had was influences from people around me which made me to forget the principles I used to follow. But.... But, by reading that person’s writings somehow made me feel guilty. I tried to change back to old me again; were cursing myself for being so ‘alpa’ in this material world and controlled by ‘maya’.

Not only that, I found good friendships also. My life started to be better and always surrounded by nice friends; friends who respect not only me but also the principles I follow, accept me without expecting any changes from me to fit myself with them. Example:

My friends who used to be,

“Never mind papa, eat onion 1 day will cause you nothing. Just ‘tutup satu mata’ and eat la”

Those friends I made after that,

“Wait ah siva, I read first the ingredients. Oh, this 1 you can eat...oh this 1 you can’t eat”

I’m not telling those friends I knew eelier are not good. It just that they are not very religious so doesn’t really understand me. However those friends I treasured now are those who understand me well enough although they are not same as me (religion wise). Just because the way we see this life is same, it brought us closer enough compare to any other friends before. They were the always there in my good and also bad time. The best part is they share their religion to me without any expectation.