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~ 'No Treatment For Family' ~

I still remember the BHP class early this year, about a doctor cant treat his own family members. THe doctor said its ethically not allowed. When i heard that i told a friend of mine,

"what he is talking la, how we cant treat our own family members. of course we will try to give the best for them right..this ethical thingy is going way out of what we suppose to learn i guess"

Yet, i was wondering all the while why is it so. On 27th of may i got the answer...

My uncle fetched me from the airport. I thought we were heading to the hospital where my mum admitted. Half way on the highway, then only i realized its the way to my house. i asked my uncle'

"Arent we going to see mum 1st before we go home"

and he said,

"she already discharged from hospital and mow at home taking rest"

Weird thing happened!!!
As a medical student who already studied about cardio in third year, i supposed to know that it cant happen. i knew that a MI patient wouldnt be discharge that fast. Yet, i tried to believe what my uncle said. Trying to consult myself that my mum will be ok and will receive me as usual. And hoping so much that my uncle wont say the sentence 'she left me'...

Then i realised why its ethically not allowed to tread out own family members. When we face them as our patient, we can loose our mind, we cant think rasionally and can be carried by emotions.

We, as a human beings, are not excepted from being carried by our emotions no matter how strong are we and how profession can we be...!!!

Someones Watching over me...




OSCE-dr.Yuni 'u r doing good,recovering very fast'

Sidang-dr.Rov 'u manage to finish it with all the obstacles u had'


A friend- 'u seems to be fine now'


I myself wonder how i can do it...!!!
How i can accept the fact so fast...!!!
How i can hide my pain, my sorrows from every1...!!!

It just because i believe that she always watching over me, i guess..
so i cant be sad, have to move on with this life, no matter what it takes to live this life...

P/S:
i thank all my friends who were there for me for past two weeks...

Maa...

[This 1 is dedicated to my mom...]

Maa...
The most wonderful word in this world...
not every1 get the chance to say this word,
not all the children owns her in their life.

Maa...
the only soul you can find with so much of loves (besides HIM)
the only person who understand our every single movement,
the one and only person who always wishes for your happiness rather than hers!!!

Maa...
u always been my best friend until i didnt had to find some1 out there,
u always been my enemy whenever you try to stop doing something that i want but not good for me,
u always been my gossip partner until my friends told i cant gossip coz i always do it with u,
u always been there to hold me whenever i was sad or down'
u always been there to support me whenever i do something new,
u always been there to guide me if im confuse,
u always been there for me in all aspects...
Yet i feel like the time i spent with you not enough,
i need more time...more and more time...
WHY!!!

Maa...
you've dedicated your whole life for others,
For your siblings, for paa, for us, for devotees, for relatives, for the community,
you've always been there for others needs, and did nothing for yourself!

Maa...
u-the most wonderful, loving mom ever,
and the best among the best...
nobody can be like you, nobody can replace you..
how hard i try also, cant be like you in the future,
you're AMAZING!!!

Maa...
I know GOD loves you more but so do us...
i know ull be watching over me as usual no matter what..
i know i have to fulfill all your wishes...
have to make sure all ur wishes come true no matter what...
i promise maa ill do it!!!

some said i need to strong; some wants me to smile back like last time...
i know i need to be strong ; physically i will try for now but dont aspect me to strong emotionally this early...
and if the matter of my 'smile', will i be able to bring back that smiley face again that every1 wish to see??!!!